I’m here to tell a story of a job I had to do,

To save a little Lion from a life trapped in a zoo.

Or working for a circus, {that’s a job which Lions hate,}

Carted around from town to town, up here or interstate.

 A lady who lived near at hand, she had this Lion, true,

A wild and tawny monster, she had gotten from a zoo.

Her children were no problem, they were mostly quite and tame,

But Lion he is dangerous, he needed to be trained.

 Already he has torn apart three hoses and some trees,

The children fear soon he may start to chew on people’s knees.

They sought a Lion tamer, who’s bold, most brave and free,

They called the Lion Tamer’s Guild, who recommended me.

 A Lion tamer tough and mean, without the slightest fear,

Someone who’ll get this Lion trained in less than half a year.

Indeed in less than just one month, I’ll tame this violent beast,

Convert him to a gentle lamb; I’ll do it in a week.

 Sunday night the family rang to ask me if I could,

They said “This Lion’s dangerous.” and asked me if I would;

Already other trainers had taken the beast away,

To break his stroppy spirit, but they brought him back next day.

 He is too wild and dangerous, for them to tangle with,

I am this Lion’s final hope; she said I’ll need a whip.

I told her, “Do not be silly, I fear no beast at all.

Tough Lions are my specialty, on Wednesday I will call.

To tame this vicious Lion, and so prove to all the world,

That when it comes to Lion, I’m the greatest of them all.

On Wednesday afternoon at three, I called to meet the beast,

To give him his first lesson, I now only had a week.

Or lose my reputation, which is really now quite tall,

The Lion tamer with no fear, no fear in him at all.

He spotted me and then he charged, to run would mean defeat,

I calmly looked him in the eye, and loudly ordered, ‘SIT!’

 He stopped, looking most puzzled, then he snarled and charged again,

I pirouetted, grabbed his ear, slipped on his training chain.

That mighty, tawny Lion, didn’t know just what to do,

I told him to sit down or else I’ll beat him black and blue.

He snarled and lashed out with a paw, claws pointed, sharp as tacks,

I ducked this lethal, speeding strike, this wild Lion attack;

I told him to lie down or else I’ll stick him in a sack;

His time has come to learn some rules, to walk another track.

I pulled the chain tight ’round his neck; I yanked it hard and quick;

Held him so close he couldn’t move, yelled again, loudly, “SIT!”

He growled, a throaty rumble that would terrify most folk,

I bopped him lightly on the nose, told him, “You are a joke.”

“Lions I’ve trained for many years, don’t play your silly games,

I’ve seen most fancy Lion tricks, their moves are all the same;

Don’t think that you can fool me with your cunning little ploys,

Behave or else I’ll have you turned into a fluffed, stuffed toy.”

 I slowly reached toward him, hand stretched out to pat his nose,

Told him he had nothing to fear, that he was very close;

To a new life of luxury, if he played his cards right,

Three meals a day, somewhere to play, a soft bed every night.

 From there the job was easy and by Thursday it was done,

Now Lion’s trained and friendly, a mild beast who’s lots of fun.

He still lives with the family; he’ll walk at heel, at call,

More proof this Lion tamer is the greatest of them all.

 

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