Last Tuesday night the family rang, to give me bad news,

The Lion I trained for them is eating people’s shoes.

Eating those old and worn out shoes, most folk will not condemn,

But shoes this Lion munches still have their people in them.

Quickly I jumped onto my ‘trike and hurried ‘round to see,

To ensure I had taken training steps, one, two and three.

When Lion saw me coming, he charged at me real fast,

Knocked me right off my tricycle, I thought I’d breathed my last.

I saw he was determined to fight with me to the end;

I struggled bravely to my feet, my life to now defend.

The Lion circled carefully, looking for his big chance,

To catch me unawares and charge, then he began to prance.

As Lions do when they’re convinced that they are going to win,

Convinced I’d be his supper, he slurped his mouth and chin.

I circled also watching him and started to get mad,

To think this Lion I had trained has soon gone oh, so bad.

Such things have never happened, with the others I have trained,

Some how I missed a step, to reprogram his brain

One step from in my manual, for training Lions true;

As we circled, warily, I thought, it was step two.

I saw one of the shoes he’d chewed and grabbed it off the ground,

I wanted it for evidence; I did not make a sound.

Lion watched me so carefully; I saw doubt in his looks,

He saw I wasn’t scared of him, like all those other blokes.

Who tried to train him earlier, but all of them had stalled,

Now Lion knew he faced the best, the toughest of them all.

When Lion was about to spring, his hair and hackles rose,

Quickly I leapt upon his neck and biffed him on the nose;

I slipped the chain around his neck and threw him to the ground,

Then put one foot on either ear to hold this Lion down.

I gently tickled Lion’s nose, a few times with a stick;

Told him that if he struggled more, next time I’d use a brick.

I got an empty sandshoe, (devoid of folk in it;)

Stuck it over Lion’s nose, that sandshoe ponged now, didn’t it?

A stained, sweat smelly child’s sandshoe, once used for basketball,

It only took about four sniffs, ‘til Lion fought no more.

I tied his feet together just to hobble him for sure,

Tied his long chain around a post, the crowd yelled out ‘Encore!’

Then Charmianne brought out some tea, with very tasty cakes;

I slumped down there to catch my breath and wait ‘til Lion wakes.

Eventually that Lion woke, after a few minutes,

He knew that he was for it, before this tale’s finished.

I waved the sandshoe in his face, he quickly turned away,

I told him that his time is up, there’s no more room to play.

From here on he need toe the line and not be such a twit,

Or else there’ll be sand shoes for tea, for breakfast, lunch and it,

Will be this way for many days, until he understands,

That Lions are as putty, in this Lion tamer’s hands.

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